"Yoda, There is Try"

A few nights ago, Dana was out for the evening.  After making one of my favorite alone meals of fish sticks and beans, I pulled out our VHS copies of the original Star Wars trilogy and enjoyed some great memories and movies.  Still love it!

But, I did catch Yoda hurting the whole braveheart idea.

Yoda tells Luke, “Do, or do not.  There is no try.”  

Yoda was wrong.  In his effort to stop using “I tried” as an excuse for a half-hearted effort, Yoda may have ruined a generation who think they can go from fear and mediocrity to success and greatness without trying and the messy in-between part.  A generation that is misled to think that you either have it or your don't.

 To be successful in real life and not the movies, “try” and its companion risk of failure are real, demanding effort and courage.  Expecting success to come without the messiness of fears and possibility of failure isn’t real.  No one goes from “don’t do” to “do” without the courage to try, because “do” is not a gift or accomplished by a dream.  Waiting until you are sure you can “do” before trying keeps a lot of children in the bleachers and out of the game.  Waiting until you know you can "do" leaves out the value of growth and developing abilities.

Yoda promoted an unrealistic jump to achievement where the importance of trying is left out.  Many children don't succeed because they are stuck in bad spots where they don't try for different reasons.  Some have given up.  They feel like they can never make anyone happy, so why try?  Some have no purpose, they have found nothing outside themselves worth their energy.  Some don’t try because they think the fine life will be handed to them.  Others look around their small world and have no hope or think they have no ability.  It is a travesty for children to be stuck, without the courage to try.

But, our children don’t need to be stuck in a bad spot.  They can learn courage and be bravehearts.  And succeed. They can know you believe in them, that they are gifted, and that they have a great God they can trust. They can have courage to try, even if Yoda says there is no try.

The Swell of Hope

Without hope, there is no courage.  Hope is a powerful antidote for those without courage, who have lost the heart to try.  Encouragement--the act of giving courage--works best when the encourager helps the discouraged find reasons to hope.

In Endurance, Alfred Lansing tells the story of Ernest Shackleton's voyage and entrapment in ice.  After being stuck for months, a small swell of water leads to hope that shatters the group's complacency and their acceptance of an icy end. Lansing says, "Until the appearance of the swell, many of the men had struggled for months not to let hope creep into their minds...But then came the swell--the physical proof that there really was something outside the limitless prison of ice.  And all their defenses they had so carefully constructed to prevent hope from entering their minds collapsed."  Hope made them different, creating a desperation for leaving the ice rather than accepting their situation.  This was hard on them, but it moved the group from discouragement to action.  Hope is strong.

Like the small swell of water, it may not take much to give your child hope.  Maybe a realization by him that he can do something, that he has abilities and gifts that are valued and can be developed and used.  Maybe something to look forward to.  Maybe preparation that instills confidence and hope, even as simple as helping him prepare for a test or rehearsing the words he will say before a discussion. Often small successes lead to another...and another, as hope and courage build.

Ultimately, mature hope that changes discouragement to courage is rooted in God.  As the Psalmist says, "My hope is in you," not in myself, others, or achievements in this world which come and go.  If a child is discouraged, getting hope of some kind is important.  But, it is best when her hope points her to a faithful Creator and not the creation.

May our lives show our children hope that goes beyond what is seen.  May the little ways we get them to hope change to a hope and trust in the living God who cares for them.  May they get to the point where their dreams become God's dreams and they can say with the Jahaziel in Chronicles, "Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God's."

Courage by Remembering

When Luke was a newborn, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment in Dallas.  We didn't sleep well in the same room with Luke. He kept making little baby noises that woke us.  So, he got the bedroom and we got the sleeper couch in the living room.  The sleeper couch with the metal bar that ran right under the middle of my back.  For a year.  I think if you look carefully, there may still be an indention!

When we moved and got a real bed, we said we would never forget what a blessing that new mattress was to us.  But, we very quickly stopped remembering God's gift of a bed and the difference it made.  I am so thankful that God is patient with me.  There are so many great things He does for me again and again.  And, I seem to forget faster than I notice.

Remembering what God has done for each of us is vital to trust and courage.  Certainly, remembering that He sacrificed His Son, Jesus.  But, also remembering all those other things He constantly does for me.

God's advice when we need courage is to remember what He has done for us, what our eyes have seen.  Deuteronomy 7:17-19 is an example:  "If you should say in your heart, 'These nations are greater than I; how can I dispossess them?' you shall not be afraid of them; you shall well remember what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt:  the great trials which your eyes saw and the signs and wonders and the mighty hand and the outstretched arm by which the LORD you God brought you out.  So shall the LORD your God do to all the peoples of whom you are afraid."

What do you remember that God has done for you, especially when you needed courage?  Remembering these, telling your children the stories, and letting them see God's Hand in small and big will help them trust and have courage.  Sometimes we want to insulate our children from the hard times, but the stories of God's provision and care when we follow Him and when things are hard are the stories that they will remember when they need courage.

Two suggestions to help our children.  First, step out with faith and courage so your children can see your courage and so you have stories to tell them.  Your example, not just in words but actions, is powerful in creating bravehearts.  What can you trust God for right now that takes courage?

Second, remember, somehow.  We are keeping a bulletin board in our hallway where we stick pictures and notes that help us remember God's care for us.  Every time I look, I realize how easily I forget.  And, I realize how many things I have probably not noticed or told myself that I would remember and didn't.  Maybe you use a bowl of notes.  Maybe a scrapbook or a journal.  Maybe it is the side of your refrigerator.  Our children need to see and hear our stories of faith and courage to begin their own.

Then, help them to find their own way to remember.  David remembered that God had delivered him from paw of the lion and the paw of the bear.  That memory convinced him that God would deliver him from Goliath.  Noticing God's care and power, then remembering, builds bravehearts.